Not really; there are only 17, and they're just some thoughts I've had, and you don't have to know them before you die, or at all, if you don't want to...
“When I see a big house I think, “Fucking hell, what a nightmare the cleaning and heating and maintenance must be in that place.”
Spot on, mate.
Lamps and plants, mate! Three of each in pic. What a dashing chonkster is Jim! I want to play with him. Or get bitten, whichever way he rolls. Moving is evil, that's all there is to it. Yet, short of finding a horde of stout and eager fairies to tap a wand and instantly transfer the detritus of life from one place to another—fully unpacked, cleaned, settled in—you are spot on: the only way to shift from one place to another in our person is to shift from one place to another in fact. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your journal; may the thief be haunted by the story seeds it contained, and get poison ivy in hard-to-scratch places.
"After the Arboreal Consultant put forward his theory, he unzipped his fly and urinated expansively on the trunk of one of the trees he’d been theorising about." Urinated expansively haha fucking killed me
“The most stressful experience in life is trying to change a duvet cover when you’re very tired.”
So very true! I think it took me about an hour the first time I changed the duvet cover. It was a very aerobic workout, to boot.
I related to all your things about moving house. Thanks for sharing your experiences and wisdom.
Your timing in reposting this is impeccable, as we're finally getting started now on a much-anticipated overseas move home to where my partner is from. I've lived there before too, and it's also home for me - much more so than where we've been for the past several years - but we are constantly musing about the kind of people we were when we moved here, and the kind of people we are moving back, and the kind of people we will be having moved back at some point down the road. We're both very busy and very contemplative, is my point, and I'm appreciative for the useful pointers here, especially around how to introduce party dragons to potential letting agents. We're nervous about that one.
I’m moving house in two weeks time and I have moved 25 times. I hope your move goes smoothly.
Whew, really good - I too am moving, next week, for the damn nearly 10th time in 12 years, and every single bit of this was spot on. Great post - ugh, I'm ready to get at least 5 years in one spot, fingers crossed. Thanks Tom.
All the best with the move Tom, I know I’ve read this before but it made me laugh all over again. Here’s to the large volatile partying dragons.
This was brilliant! We just moved from Paris to
Surrey (tenth move in 19 years so not quite at your level yet!) but I related to so much especially how much room extension plugs take up! Do they expand in size when unplugged or something! There’s always a stage in a move when I just want to leave everything except what I can fit in one rucksack 😂
This resonated. We moved in February. The possessions have bred. My mother donated everything to charity after 50 -odd years of living in UK and moved back to Ireland with only the possessions that fitted into her small car. I never understood this. I do now.
We have a big house now, the idea is that possessions will be spread out so easier to clean. Six months on most are still in boxes. So clearly we had made the decision to keep the items at one point. I found one box which hadn't been opened since a move in 2003. That was a time capsule, including 7 years of school reports where teachers found ever more creative ways to observe that I cbfa.
The disappointment when you've been dating that perfect house online, and then you meet them and it isn't what your mind had been promising you at all....
As ever, reading this was a brilliant way to start the day - thank you
Gosh, what a wonderful piece of writing!
Our last move was HUGE. Every move before that one, in retrospect, looked like a walk in the park! We had to move a large house's worth of CRAP (ie, the stuff that we needed after wne'd weeded it the crap we didn't need) and three vehicles and five pets five or six states north from WV to MA. That's the first and last time I've had to do that. This is our forever home. LOL!
The cats didn't help. Go figure.
I was a fellow travelling renter until I managed to buy a place, two years ago. Is it wrong that I still flirt with other houses on the Internet?
I haven’t moved for 30 years. Can’t imagine it at present altho I do practice the art of Swedish death cleaning from time to time.
"“Never again!’ we say, after a move, feeling like we have been slowly backed over three times by a large tractor with tyres caked in hot manure. But after a while, the details of exactly why it was so traumatic fades. “Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all?” we think. It was. Probably worse, in fact. Your memory is lying to you."
This whole list made me laugh so much, and it's been a heavy week so I greatly appreciate it! I did indeed say, "Never, ever again" after my last move. I hate moving. If I have to do it again I'd like to go live in my truck and be done with it. My truck can hold a lot of books.
During a house move I once found a spoon left behind by a previous tenant that’s almost the same as my spoons. I still have that spoon. I wonder if its previous owner misses it.