You can listen to me reading this to you out loud here if you’d like to: I’m extremely pro purchasing new notebooks but extremely anti wasting paper. It causes me to lead quite a turbulent life, full of internal conflict. Sure, sex is great but have you ever cracked open a new notebook and written something on the opening page with a really nice pen? I will always be seduced by new notebooks because there perennially exists the possibility that the next notebook could be The One.
I also recommend that everyone cancel plans at least a few times a week. Unless your plans are with me. Then please don't because I probably spent all morning baking a cake and will be sorely disappointed.
Before I read on … can I just say that as a former hedgehog rescuer that some of them are absolute bastards. One of the ones we rescued, on release, turned round and ran at the cat , who promptly hid behind my leg.
I have many amusing stories about hedgehogs and their overly dramatic deaths.
Paul Auster also loves a crisp new notebook, or at least his character in Oracle Night does. Here is a quote from that book that I think could have been written by you, Tom Cox: "“It always stimulates me to discover new examples of my own prejudice and stupidity, to realize that I don't know half as much as I think I do.”
After seeing at least 4017 restacks of your work and notes by you in the last 48 hours, I finally succumbed to the peer pressure by hitting the “subscribe” button.
My most notable email typo to this day is that time I've written to a client "Have a nice die" instead of "...day" at the end of an email. I much prefer your bees.
When your (and mine) ancestors came out to New Zealand, as it was known 150 years ago, to escape a class system, they found it was 'not like ome' (recent immigrants still whine about that) and thought the place needed stoats and hedgehogs. Unfortunately, the wildlife which hadn't evolved to live with ground predators promptly started dying out. Sure, some hedgehogs get flattened on the roads, imitating a hairpiece that might appeal to a former US president, but it would be good if you could send over some of your hedgehog rescuers to collect our surplus. Win-win all round.
I read this and thought 'thank goodness, I am not alone in the world, there are other people with thoughts like these'! So good to read this piece. Thank you.
Number one..the train’s upholstery.. Number two ..much of the recent architecture dominating Derby City centre…hahaha
been to both cities in the eighties and realised that Nottingham is like Bordeaux, or Chichester, in comparison to Derbys architecture, not to mention it’s nightlife .. they have had some great football teams, mind you, as Cloughy would say, if he could, bless him..
But, and it’s a Big But, the city scape was/ is depressing. Imagine my delight at the cheapness of the beer!
Brilliantly funny stack, Tom. Muse on, my friend. This had me laughing out loud while preparing a Sunday roast.. I had a listen.. you don’t sound your age ..
Mines 17. I seem to be stuck somewhere around that age.. in me head like!
I'm still cackling at the elusive misty ped. I mean, not directly at him. That would be rude. Unless he happened to also be a stand up comic. I guess with his mysterious amount of legs, standing up would be quite easy. But he is elusive, so if have to find him first.
I also recommend that everyone cancel plans at least a few times a week. Unless your plans are with me. Then please don't because I probably spent all morning baking a cake and will be sorely disappointed.
I actually have tears running down my face from laughing so much at these. So good!
Before I read on … can I just say that as a former hedgehog rescuer that some of them are absolute bastards. One of the ones we rescued, on release, turned round and ran at the cat , who promptly hid behind my leg.
I have many amusing stories about hedgehogs and their overly dramatic deaths.
Anyway, let me read the rest.
Paul Auster also loves a crisp new notebook, or at least his character in Oracle Night does. Here is a quote from that book that I think could have been written by you, Tom Cox: "“It always stimulates me to discover new examples of my own prejudice and stupidity, to realize that I don't know half as much as I think I do.”
But wait. WAIT. *Did* Clive fuck off down the wine aisle anyway, or did he not?
After seeing at least 4017 restacks of your work and notes by you in the last 48 hours, I finally succumbed to the peer pressure by hitting the “subscribe” button.
My most notable email typo to this day is that time I've written to a client "Have a nice die" instead of "...day" at the end of an email. I much prefer your bees.
Great start to the day, thanks Tom.
When your (and mine) ancestors came out to New Zealand, as it was known 150 years ago, to escape a class system, they found it was 'not like ome' (recent immigrants still whine about that) and thought the place needed stoats and hedgehogs. Unfortunately, the wildlife which hadn't evolved to live with ground predators promptly started dying out. Sure, some hedgehogs get flattened on the roads, imitating a hairpiece that might appeal to a former US president, but it would be good if you could send over some of your hedgehog rescuers to collect our surplus. Win-win all round.
All the bees,
Alan
I read this and thought 'thank goodness, I am not alone in the world, there are other people with thoughts like these'! So good to read this piece. Thank you.
Oh what a breath of fresh air you are! Thank you. So entertaining!
Number one..the train’s upholstery.. Number two ..much of the recent architecture dominating Derby City centre…hahaha
been to both cities in the eighties and realised that Nottingham is like Bordeaux, or Chichester, in comparison to Derbys architecture, not to mention it’s nightlife .. they have had some great football teams, mind you, as Cloughy would say, if he could, bless him..
But, and it’s a Big But, the city scape was/ is depressing. Imagine my delight at the cheapness of the beer!
Brilliantly funny stack, Tom. Muse on, my friend. This had me laughing out loud while preparing a Sunday roast.. I had a listen.. you don’t sound your age ..
Mines 17. I seem to be stuck somewhere around that age.. in me head like!
I am totes going to throw a gorilla knitting party in the summer (and I’m not sorry for saying totes) 😃
• the thoroughly rational and also endearingly emotional meaning that you've internalized in response to “regret, no pets”
• the verity in your descriptions of: relationship between age and spontaneity; joy of canceling plans
• all the bees
(and all the bullets in this post, honestly)
I'm still cackling at the elusive misty ped. I mean, not directly at him. That would be rude. Unless he happened to also be a stand up comic. I guess with his mysterious amount of legs, standing up would be quite easy. But he is elusive, so if have to find him first.
Well that’s probably the most I’ve enjoyed a new Substack I’ve followed ever. So thanks for that.
LOVE these.