As I drive, as well as trying to stay aware of potential hazards, I scan around for the names of small businesses and their owners on vans and roadside signs.
The llama story unearthed a past life, when I lived in a different universe. I lived in a big house, with an acre of land - we called it "the paddock" - which I had no need for. A man, who didn't live next door, owned an adjacent plot of land. It was smaller than ours. He had chickens, and ducks, and geese, and two rheas. Rheas are like small ostriches - but from South America. We made some holes in the dividing hedge, so his assorted birds could make use of the paddock that we didn't know what to do with.
One day I walked up to the paddock, with a beautiful lady - who was not my wife - and found a massive egg. I gave the egg to the beautiful lady, but her brother said it was haram and gave it to one of their neighbours. My wife divorced me and I gave her all of our money - because I had been unfaithful. That seemed fair. Now I live in a very small house - but I do have a vegetable patch.
What really troubles me, is... I can't remember the name of the man who didn't live next door.
Thanks Tom, that worked. My mind sorely needed that cleanse. I‘ve given the world of kiln dried logs more thought than you might imagine, being from a place that’s already dry and where a disadvantage is that pretty much all fire is frowned upon (California).
Brilliant, especially the ending (I wasn’t expecting)! As you get older, time speeds up and days, then months, then years are gone by, and you wonder where they went. Spending them with a llama (or alpaca) seems like a good way to spend that time.
Nowadays here in the US there isn’t much to laugh about, thanks so much for helping me laugh and smile. Can’t tell you how much I look forward to your writing😘
The title of this piece in my to-read list was truncated and appeared as “Geoff Smeeth … Will Cleanse Your Fractured Dooms”. Fractured dooms is definitely what I am suffering from and they would definitely benefit from cleansing.
Oooo, yes! Nothing will ever be as good as Reynolds’ Remarkable Rhythm Cattle (an actual band in my undergrad days lo these many decades ago) or the Front Porch Swingin’ Liquor Pigs (a local bluegrass outfit), but Fractured Dooms would make an excellent death metal band name. 🤘
I look out for the names too, but then go off at tangents. Somebody or other Hodgson, fish merchant, whose van passed me years ago at a bus stop, has become the Reverend Hodgson Fish in a comic novel now. I doubt the irritating young vicar with the inappropriate laugh bears any resemblance to the fish merchant, who I picture as middle-aged and no nonsense, probably from Whitby.
As a recent insomniac (5 a.m. Sunday here), there is nothing like a possible llama and a beautiful stack of wood to soothe my fevered brain. Thank you.
Yep, they all look like Shaun the Sheep with those hair cuts. Thank goodness there are metal guitarists with long hair still, very grateful. Lesley of West Looe.
What is a World without kiln dried logs, Alpacas and or Llamas? Thank you for emphasising their importance to both story telling, literature and just passing the time don’tcha know
This is the first article of seen since I joined substack where a writer is traditional and cultured and appreciate with my love good wood. I love that Tom.
You're inspire me more than you can imagine sir. And this is a very remarkable writing
Want to say that I’m NOT an expert but I think it’s not a llama (they have sort of airplane wing ears). I think it’s an alpaca. I live in an area of Mexico where there are cattle, horses, burros (donkeys), sheep and goats. I’m a knitter and have seen photos of alpacas but since I’m in MX I may be in a tequila dream. Please forgive.
I’m still hoping to buy one or two from your offerings. Are they all gone?
Hi Gail. I think you missed the caption beneath the photo. But, yes, still got lots of books here! This vid explains what I have got: https://tomcox.substack.com/p/why-i-have-several-thousand-of-my. Do drop me an email with your address and let me know what you'd like...
Hi! I think you recently mentioned two particular books could be mailed for postage only? I’m not a grasping person and I was embarrassed to ask. I’ve bought two of your books (sent to my sister in Arkansas) becuz we were there for medical treatment which I’m pretty sure I didn’t mention, but am mentioning now becuz that issue is over (I hope).
Anyway, what books are available? (Don’t remember).
I’d love to have more of your books in my hands and on my bookshelf. I’m in Mexico, avoiding Trump’s ugliness, and the mailing/sending may be a problem, like it may be a problem, but still I’d like to try.
BTW, a feral ginger cat with a horrendous voice comes here nightly to bother me and trip me up, and scratch my ankles and throw himself on the ground in front of me so that it’s extremely difficult to avoid his advances. Still, I look for something to give him to eat. Can’t help it.
The llama story unearthed a past life, when I lived in a different universe. I lived in a big house, with an acre of land - we called it "the paddock" - which I had no need for. A man, who didn't live next door, owned an adjacent plot of land. It was smaller than ours. He had chickens, and ducks, and geese, and two rheas. Rheas are like small ostriches - but from South America. We made some holes in the dividing hedge, so his assorted birds could make use of the paddock that we didn't know what to do with.
One day I walked up to the paddock, with a beautiful lady - who was not my wife - and found a massive egg. I gave the egg to the beautiful lady, but her brother said it was haram and gave it to one of their neighbours. My wife divorced me and I gave her all of our money - because I had been unfaithful. That seemed fair. Now I live in a very small house - but I do have a vegetable patch.
What really troubles me, is... I can't remember the name of the man who didn't live next door.
Thanks Tom, that worked. My mind sorely needed that cleanse. I‘ve given the world of kiln dried logs more thought than you might imagine, being from a place that’s already dry and where a disadvantage is that pretty much all fire is frowned upon (California).
Brilliant, especially the ending (I wasn’t expecting)! As you get older, time speeds up and days, then months, then years are gone by, and you wonder where they went. Spending them with a llama (or alpaca) seems like a good way to spend that time.
Nowadays here in the US there isn’t much to laugh about, thanks so much for helping me laugh and smile. Can’t tell you how much I look forward to your writing😘
Thank you, Candace!
I love it all ❤️
Thanks Susan!
The title of this piece in my to-read list was truncated and appeared as “Geoff Smeeth … Will Cleanse Your Fractured Dooms”. Fractured dooms is definitely what I am suffering from and they would definitely benefit from cleansing.
Also, a good band name
Oooo, yes! Nothing will ever be as good as Reynolds’ Remarkable Rhythm Cattle (an actual band in my undergrad days lo these many decades ago) or the Front Porch Swingin’ Liquor Pigs (a local bluegrass outfit), but Fractured Dooms would make an excellent death metal band name. 🤘
Love it!
That is a very impressive log pile.
I look out for the names too, but then go off at tangents. Somebody or other Hodgson, fish merchant, whose van passed me years ago at a bus stop, has become the Reverend Hodgson Fish in a comic novel now. I doubt the irritating young vicar with the inappropriate laugh bears any resemblance to the fish merchant, who I picture as middle-aged and no nonsense, probably from Whitby.
As a recent insomniac (5 a.m. Sunday here), there is nothing like a possible llama and a beautiful stack of wood to soothe my fevered brain. Thank you.
Yep, they all look like Shaun the Sheep with those hair cuts. Thank goodness there are metal guitarists with long hair still, very grateful. Lesley of West Looe.
What is a World without kiln dried logs, Alpacas and or Llamas? Thank you for emphasising their importance to both story telling, literature and just passing the time don’tcha know
This is the first article of seen since I joined substack where a writer is traditional and cultured and appreciate with my love good wood. I love that Tom.
You're inspire me more than you can imagine sir. And this is a very remarkable writing
Thank you, Ral!
A split chunk of wood is a treasure.
Video re alpacas and llamas! Love your stories.
https://youtu.be/EWBTlsUwCD4?si=NGiPpaseK8y7KgmY
What a creative pile of logs…oh yeah, and fun piece you wrote.
Want to say that I’m NOT an expert but I think it’s not a llama (they have sort of airplane wing ears). I think it’s an alpaca. I live in an area of Mexico where there are cattle, horses, burros (donkeys), sheep and goats. I’m a knitter and have seen photos of alpacas but since I’m in MX I may be in a tequila dream. Please forgive.
I’m still hoping to buy one or two from your offerings. Are they all gone?
Hi Gail. I think you missed the caption beneath the photo. But, yes, still got lots of books here! This vid explains what I have got: https://tomcox.substack.com/p/why-i-have-several-thousand-of-my. Do drop me an email with your address and let me know what you'd like...
Hi! I think you recently mentioned two particular books could be mailed for postage only? I’m not a grasping person and I was embarrassed to ask. I’ve bought two of your books (sent to my sister in Arkansas) becuz we were there for medical treatment which I’m pretty sure I didn’t mention, but am mentioning now becuz that issue is over (I hope).
Anyway, what books are available? (Don’t remember).
I’d love to have more of your books in my hands and on my bookshelf. I’m in Mexico, avoiding Trump’s ugliness, and the mailing/sending may be a problem, like it may be a problem, but still I’d like to try.
BTW, a feral ginger cat with a horrendous voice comes here nightly to bother me and trip me up, and scratch my ankles and throw himself on the ground in front of me so that it’s extremely difficult to avoid his advances. Still, I look for something to give him to eat. Can’t help it.
Greetings from Mexico.
Gail