195 Comments
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Ro's avatar

You pay such attention to people, and animals, and all things. Thank goodness you are a writer.

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Tom Cox's avatar

Thank you!

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Ro's avatar

You help me see the world more. It’s quite extraordinary, even though I think I am paying close attention, you provide quite a lens. E.g., now I see that I DO have some optimism—while I expect nothing but doom on the one hand, I regularly think things like I can garden like Vida Sackville West, etc. Reading your writing is a little bit like looking at art. After I spend some time looking at art, I suddenly start to see differently. Then it fades because awareness demands so much. But it’s what living fully requires.

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Antonia Malchik's avatar

Well said.

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Amy Roberts's avatar

Paying close attention is surely a prerequisite for the job.

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A M Sandle's avatar

Mum and I used to read aloud to each other, until she died nearly 5 years ago. I was re-reading some Margaret Atwood and wishing I could read it aloud to her when my phone buzzed, and I checked it and found this. I may just read it aloud into the Void and hope it connects with some of her residual atoms.

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Angie P's avatar

Do it. Those atoms ARE out there and they will start dancing:)

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Terry Freedman's avatar

Lovely essay, Tom. It reminded me of conversations with my dad, and mum. Maybe I'll say more later, but I'm on a train using my phone, and with a bike, and there are some dodgy looking blokes eyeing me up.

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Tom Cox's avatar

Haha. Thanks Terry. IF YOU’RE WEARING A FANCY JACKET MAKE SURE YOU TAKE IT OFF.

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Camilla Maltas's avatar

...but only if you have a shirt on under it? :#

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Terry Freedman's avatar

Fear not, Camilla. I am jacketless, not shirtless 😁

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Camilla Maltas's avatar

Hahaha that's probably safest :D

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Terry Freedman's avatar

😁

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Terry Freedman's avatar

🤣

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Alan's avatar

Yeah, LOONIES AND FUCKWITS no doubt

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Terry Freedman's avatar

😂 definitely!

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Ben Wakeman's avatar

I love the picture of your dad reading your book. My parents have always been the first readers of my novels though traditionally I’ve always read them chapters over the phone as I’ve written them.

They are the best audience for new untested ideas and, looking back, I think all that episodic reading was practice for serializing and narrating my novels here on Substack. I really enjoyed this piece, thanks for making it free.

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Tom Cox's avatar

Thanks Ben!

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Lisa Maguire's avatar

I love your dad. He is my kind of people. Will bookmark and save this to reread when feeling blue.

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Suzy Rowlands's avatar

Ohhh the MAGIC of this. I fricking love your dad!

Sooo much to say and I don’t want to waffle but I so relate to the being a big old mixed bag. I can feel the giddy joy of a six year old when finding a feather with raindrops resting on it and yet in the same instant feel like its the end of the world if I accidentally stand on a snail. It’s an exquisite and painful existence and I’m here for it all.

Suffice to say….this was just MAGICKS. MAGICKS! 🙏🏻🪄👌🏻✨🤓

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Tom Cox's avatar

Thanks Suzy! Nice to know I’m not the only one who feels like that. I’m still feeling terrible about a snail I stood on in autumn 2018.

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Eileen's avatar

The light in your dad's landscape paintings is amazing. I want to be in them.

I think he would be a delight to know.

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Brenda Nicholson's avatar

Your dad is a treasure. From now on, I will try to remember to watch out for fuckwits and loonies.

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Anne Grimm's avatar

My day turns out so much nicer when I start it with a coffee and your newsletter.

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Tom Cox's avatar

Thanks Anne!

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Liz Miller's avatar

Your father’s paintings are lovely. The Disaster PingPong struck such a distant chord, it must be in the DNA. In deep gratitude that you share your lovely life and wondrous people with us.

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Tom Cox's avatar

Thank you, Liz!

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Camilla Maltas's avatar

Thank you for the gift of this, Tom! What a beautiful and poignant essay, I loved it. And though I don't know your parents personally but only through the window of your writing, I feel as fond of them as if I did (I hope this isn't creepy!), and wish them both well.

Also, my family did the 'three rings when you get home' thing for years! Even when I lived literally three doors down the street from my parents - if I forgot, I'd get an indignant call from my Mum asking where I'd got to :D

I'm really looking forward to reading 1983!

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Tom Cox's avatar

Thanks Camilla. Nice to know it wasn’t just me!

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Shefi1280's avatar

what a talented family. Your dad obviously knew his art history, too, judging by the "Bridget" example https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/waterhouse-the-lady-of-shalott-n01543

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Priscilla Duane's avatar

I loved this. Plus, your dad is an amazing artist.

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Tom Cox's avatar

Thanks Priscilla. He is!

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Amy Roberts's avatar

WOFFAL bumper stickers or t-shirts, what do you think?

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Monica P.'s avatar

Enjoyed this so much. Your dad is looking out for you. So sweet. Reminds me of my own dad. When I read that your dad still had some artwork , I was going to say you should sell it here. And you do. I was able to purchase the print of ‘Cattle at Dawn’. So excited. Your dad is a couple of years older than me. Seventy is the new fifty. Thanks for posting this today.

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Tom Cox's avatar

Brilliant. Glad you got it, Monica! And thank you. 70 is definitely the new 50. Hopefully (for me) that also means 50 is the new 30.

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Dawn Bernard's avatar

Lies!!! I don’t feel a day younger than 56…in fact some days I feel like I’m 86…what ever that means…how come I don’t feel like I’m 36? damn…I felt great then!!! 🤣😘

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Bliss's avatar

This was a great article to read, entertaining as always. I love the painting of cattle by your dad, he sounds like an awesome person. Thank you for sharing.

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Tom Cox's avatar

Thank you!

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