Good thing my spouse of 25 years has just whisked me away for a romantic weekend in the mountains, or I would be declaring my eternal and irrevocable love for you, Tom, solely on the basis of this essay. You have seen into my soul.
I stumbled upon this post today after being informed that I must move out of a much-beloved rental house due to my landlord selling it. I was hoping to stay on a bit longer (at least a year until my daughter leaves for college) but Fate would have it otherwise. I have been through all the stages of grief a couple times over. I was angry that my landlord, a dear friend, could be so selfish as to sell her own "property" in order to pay off her debts (how dare she!) I bargained- maybe I could shore up some cash somehow and put a down-payment on the place (laughable with an abhorrent credit score and a job working in public education making less than 25k per annum. Oh the sadness at leaving this beautiful place with the sky-blue walls. Oh the despair at not owning a house since my ex husband and I split and had to let go of it due to massive debt. I could go on but this is an overly long comment as it is.
What I am saying is, thank you for this piece. I have decided to accept my place in a world as a gypsy-nomad-vagabond. I will pack my scarves and books and instruments and move along to the next adventure. Cheers.
I wouldn’t even begin to tell how bad these past three years have been, if I could exchange our Victorian home for a small cottage or apartment, it would take me a New York City Minute. The woodwork is beautiful, and there are one of kind fixtures but the expenses are too much on upkeep. Our taxes could mortgage the average American Home.
There is an old song called “Papa was a Rolling Stone” wherever he hung his hat, was his home.🎶 by The Temptations.
Sorry to hear you have to move from a home you love. I hope you find an adventure, new friends, and comfortable place that brings twice the happiness you have had in your present home. Cheers.
This could be one of my favorite non-book length pieces you’ve written and I would most definitely read the book you are writing in your head.
When I move into a new place, I stay up late putting things away and getting rid of boxes so that when I get up the next morning…it already feels like home-ish.
I haven’t moved in a long time. I finally landed in the place I will most likely spend the rest of my days. I’ve never lived this long in one place in my whole life.
I dream about making it look fancier from the outside. But inside it’s full of books and cats…we’ve had many many stray cats show up and decide to stay…just two at the moment…and they dislike each other fairly intensely.
I spent the first half of my life living in a most beautiful but very expensive place near the ocean.
I found my forever home in a place I had every intention of leaving. I’m surrounded by woods and creatures and am content.
But I still dream of a house near the ocean that I can never afford.
I used to have a recurring dream that my family when I was a child bought a lovely home on the ocean, but then had to move after a short while, and the dream was my wistful visits to the short lived ocean home and how wonderful it would have been if we’d stayed there.
Love the stone house. It is indeed very tidy, although I hate to think what the heating bills are like.
You say you hope your current abode doesn't think you're cheating, but do you wonder if a rented apartment is the greater cheat, or is even a tenant slave to it's owner? You are an inspiration.
I am so glad I found your writing. There's an unpredictable freedom in it that I love. And so freaking clever.
And why haven't you mentioned to us newbees about your website (well, derr) and the Incredible Concept Album inspired by one of your books? This is not a criticism, just an observation! For those who don't know about this: https://stickinthewheel.bandcamp.com/album/help-the-witch-a-concept-album
Whitman's words glowed jn me when I first came across them, and still resonate.
I suspect that someone who is perfectly aligned in all aspects of their life is (a) probably fictional, but (b) unlikely to nurture the creative spark.
I was going to leave a joke of some sort here as I usually do because I love the wittiness of your writing and I guess I want to be part of it.
But then I read "Are we allowed to be contradictions?". I believe this is what makes us human. We are walking contradictions, and if we want to live happily I think our task is to accept them, or dig into them a little deeper so we understand it's not really a contradiction but part of a bigger idea or feeling we have.
As for the buying vs. renting a house, I am at exactly the same point in my life right now. I have bounced around the planet a fair bit, and now, judging by an intense craving for my own place, it looks like I am ready to settle. The settler part of my heart seems to have joined the gym about 6 months back and is knocking back protein shakes while taunting the nomadic part of my heart, which can't do much else but throw a tantrum.
Sadly, I said goodbye to the corporate world. A world which was absolutely disgusting to me in every possible way, but came with a monthly paycheck which could have given me a place of my own - eventually. Instead I chose to do things my way, again, and that comes with a lot (!) less money.
I don't regret it one bit. But you try telling my inner settler 😉
Your mention of walking near the M5 and trying to imagine the area pre-motorway reminded me of the time, just before Xmas 1976, when I walked from Cambridge to Saffron Walden. Somewhere above Littlebury I came down a lane in the gloaming with scattered lights twinkling in the valley and (having recently read Lord of the Rings for the first time) thinking it was just like The Shire.
Hey Tom, if you're ever in Bath, gimme a shout, I'll show you my mid-century modern collection and my textile designs! Oh, this 1988 house on the canal belonged to my late mum and is for sale... you don't wanna know. There's also a family of badgers living under the compost heap. I don't know their feelings about needlepoint, but they do enjoy dog biscuits from Poundland. Your writing, as ever, is a joy (steveswindells.bandcamp.com)
Goodness. I almost - almost - could have written this, but from the southern-US-point-of-view. It constantly astonishes me just how similarly we see the world, dear Tom. Yet I am an auld Virginia lady descended from British colonials. I, too, have lived a peripatetic life, partially due to my career choice, yet not insignificantly also due to the state of my poor bank account. I also settle in quickly and take some pride in turning each home into just that.. Reading this allows me to see myself in more poetic ways, and for that I thank you.
I am new to your substack. Between your clever sense of humor and the comments I feel at home with this group. The love of nature is difficult to discern in many as they go about the “business “ of modern living.
Loved this piece! Thank you! I love old houses (and in Brooklyn we're not long on countryside so it's either architecture or nothing). Your sensitivity to and connection with your surroundings is remarkable , and your use of language always makes me sit up and take notice. I feel very lucky indeed to have decided to give this Substack thing a try and to have found you.
I too am terminally obsessed with houses ! It drove me to become a real estate broker. An occupation that really doesn’t suit my nature, but I can endlessly look at available places, imagine who would be happy living there and “preview “ them for that imaginary client.
I loved this essay and the paths you wander. I look forward to your next book about houses, homes and the paths between how a house becomes a home. Please sell it to the film industry so we can see endless beautiful places!
Ahhhh, how I relate to this post. As a lifelong renter of spaces in Brooklyn that have rarely exceeded 600 sq ft, the unattainablity of owning a house is familiar. In 2021, after living in Brooklyn since starting university, I finally rented a place with a large back garden and a deck— that has made a huge difference, but still. Not mine to do any great whopping changes to (although I do plant many things in the garden, which had been neglected awhile when I moved in.)
I also am one to mentally redesign all spaces I enter, especially in homes. Great fun, even if it’s just dreaming. All such uses of imagination are part of a creative life though, so carry on.
I used to have a job that involved visiting folks at home and was fascinated by what they did with their house/flat (in much the same way as my social worker friend was nosy about the people). Greige, big clocks, the horror!
The housing market in the UK is just so wrong, the obscene prices, the number of people who will never be able to afford to own, the lack of affordable rented homes on terms that mean tenants can settle and actually feel at home rather than as if they're squatting... And "property", yes, part of the sickness that views homes as investment and allows the purchase of homes that will sit empty until they've increased in value sufficiently for the investor to cash in...
Oops that bee seems to have got in my bonnet again...
As for whether we're allowed to be contradictions, I would argue that we'd be far less interesting, and your writing far less entertaining, Tom, if we weren't!
The look on his face was the kind you might wear if a badger had told you it had learned needlepoint.
GOLD.
That was the best line and I laughed out loud at the nonsense of it!!
“Escape is in my blood.“ : the other best line
Good thing my spouse of 25 years has just whisked me away for a romantic weekend in the mountains, or I would be declaring my eternal and irrevocable love for you, Tom, solely on the basis of this essay. You have seen into my soul.
I stumbled upon this post today after being informed that I must move out of a much-beloved rental house due to my landlord selling it. I was hoping to stay on a bit longer (at least a year until my daughter leaves for college) but Fate would have it otherwise. I have been through all the stages of grief a couple times over. I was angry that my landlord, a dear friend, could be so selfish as to sell her own "property" in order to pay off her debts (how dare she!) I bargained- maybe I could shore up some cash somehow and put a down-payment on the place (laughable with an abhorrent credit score and a job working in public education making less than 25k per annum. Oh the sadness at leaving this beautiful place with the sky-blue walls. Oh the despair at not owning a house since my ex husband and I split and had to let go of it due to massive debt. I could go on but this is an overly long comment as it is.
What I am saying is, thank you for this piece. I have decided to accept my place in a world as a gypsy-nomad-vagabond. I will pack my scarves and books and instruments and move along to the next adventure. Cheers.
I can relate. Totally! All of us in such circumstances will be ok. 😌 Scarves. Books. Instruments. Oh yes.
I wouldn’t even begin to tell how bad these past three years have been, if I could exchange our Victorian home for a small cottage or apartment, it would take me a New York City Minute. The woodwork is beautiful, and there are one of kind fixtures but the expenses are too much on upkeep. Our taxes could mortgage the average American Home.
There is an old song called “Papa was a Rolling Stone” wherever he hung his hat, was his home.🎶 by The Temptations.
Sorry to hear you have to move from a home you love. I hope you find an adventure, new friends, and comfortable place that brings twice the happiness you have had in your present home. Cheers.
I feel you. Just going through the same thing. I wrote about it: https://rosiewhinray.substack.com/p/precariat-blues
This could be one of my favorite non-book length pieces you’ve written and I would most definitely read the book you are writing in your head.
When I move into a new place, I stay up late putting things away and getting rid of boxes so that when I get up the next morning…it already feels like home-ish.
I haven’t moved in a long time. I finally landed in the place I will most likely spend the rest of my days. I’ve never lived this long in one place in my whole life.
I dream about making it look fancier from the outside. But inside it’s full of books and cats…we’ve had many many stray cats show up and decide to stay…just two at the moment…and they dislike each other fairly intensely.
I spent the first half of my life living in a most beautiful but very expensive place near the ocean.
I found my forever home in a place I had every intention of leaving. I’m surrounded by woods and creatures and am content.
But I still dream of a house near the ocean that I can never afford.
I used to have a recurring dream that my family when I was a child bought a lovely home on the ocean, but then had to move after a short while, and the dream was my wistful visits to the short lived ocean home and how wonderful it would have been if we’d stayed there.
Love the stone house. It is indeed very tidy, although I hate to think what the heating bills are like.
You say you hope your current abode doesn't think you're cheating, but do you wonder if a rented apartment is the greater cheat, or is even a tenant slave to it's owner? You are an inspiration.
I am so glad I found your writing. There's an unpredictable freedom in it that I love. And so freaking clever.
And why haven't you mentioned to us newbees about your website (well, derr) and the Incredible Concept Album inspired by one of your books? This is not a criticism, just an observation! For those who don't know about this: https://stickinthewheel.bandcamp.com/album/help-the-witch-a-concept-album
Keep up the tremendous work you do.
Cheers Simon!
That’s actually just one of TWO albums. There’s also this: https://rjmckendree.bandcamp.com/album/wallflower
Lovely piece, Tom. Oh my goodness- I am so with you on "property". "Property" can get in the bin along with "content".
And 'product'.
"Do I contradict myself?
Very well, then, I contradict myself.
I am large; I contain multitudes."
Whitman's words glowed jn me when I first came across them, and still resonate.
I suspect that someone who is perfectly aligned in all aspects of their life is (a) probably fictional, but (b) unlikely to nurture the creative spark.
Thank you for this heartfelt paeon to the house!
I was going to leave a joke of some sort here as I usually do because I love the wittiness of your writing and I guess I want to be part of it.
But then I read "Are we allowed to be contradictions?". I believe this is what makes us human. We are walking contradictions, and if we want to live happily I think our task is to accept them, or dig into them a little deeper so we understand it's not really a contradiction but part of a bigger idea or feeling we have.
As for the buying vs. renting a house, I am at exactly the same point in my life right now. I have bounced around the planet a fair bit, and now, judging by an intense craving for my own place, it looks like I am ready to settle. The settler part of my heart seems to have joined the gym about 6 months back and is knocking back protein shakes while taunting the nomadic part of my heart, which can't do much else but throw a tantrum.
Sadly, I said goodbye to the corporate world. A world which was absolutely disgusting to me in every possible way, but came with a monthly paycheck which could have given me a place of my own - eventually. Instead I chose to do things my way, again, and that comes with a lot (!) less money.
I don't regret it one bit. But you try telling my inner settler 😉
Your mention of walking near the M5 and trying to imagine the area pre-motorway reminded me of the time, just before Xmas 1976, when I walked from Cambridge to Saffron Walden. Somewhere above Littlebury I came down a lane in the gloaming with scattered lights twinkling in the valley and (having recently read Lord of the Rings for the first time) thinking it was just like The Shire.
The M11 slices right through there now.
Hey Tom, if you're ever in Bath, gimme a shout, I'll show you my mid-century modern collection and my textile designs! Oh, this 1988 house on the canal belonged to my late mum and is for sale... you don't wanna know. There's also a family of badgers living under the compost heap. I don't know their feelings about needlepoint, but they do enjoy dog biscuits from Poundland. Your writing, as ever, is a joy (steveswindells.bandcamp.com)
Goodness. I almost - almost - could have written this, but from the southern-US-point-of-view. It constantly astonishes me just how similarly we see the world, dear Tom. Yet I am an auld Virginia lady descended from British colonials. I, too, have lived a peripatetic life, partially due to my career choice, yet not insignificantly also due to the state of my poor bank account. I also settle in quickly and take some pride in turning each home into just that.. Reading this allows me to see myself in more poetic ways, and for that I thank you.
I am new to your substack. Between your clever sense of humor and the comments I feel at home with this group. The love of nature is difficult to discern in many as they go about the “business “ of modern living.
Loved this piece! Thank you! I love old houses (and in Brooklyn we're not long on countryside so it's either architecture or nothing). Your sensitivity to and connection with your surroundings is remarkable , and your use of language always makes me sit up and take notice. I feel very lucky indeed to have decided to give this Substack thing a try and to have found you.
Stay well and be happy!
I too am terminally obsessed with houses ! It drove me to become a real estate broker. An occupation that really doesn’t suit my nature, but I can endlessly look at available places, imagine who would be happy living there and “preview “ them for that imaginary client.
I loved this essay and the paths you wander. I look forward to your next book about houses, homes and the paths between how a house becomes a home. Please sell it to the film industry so we can see endless beautiful places!
Ahhhh, how I relate to this post. As a lifelong renter of spaces in Brooklyn that have rarely exceeded 600 sq ft, the unattainablity of owning a house is familiar. In 2021, after living in Brooklyn since starting university, I finally rented a place with a large back garden and a deck— that has made a huge difference, but still. Not mine to do any great whopping changes to (although I do plant many things in the garden, which had been neglected awhile when I moved in.)
I also am one to mentally redesign all spaces I enter, especially in homes. Great fun, even if it’s just dreaming. All such uses of imagination are part of a creative life though, so carry on.
Once again your writing rings so many bells!
I used to have a job that involved visiting folks at home and was fascinated by what they did with their house/flat (in much the same way as my social worker friend was nosy about the people). Greige, big clocks, the horror!
The housing market in the UK is just so wrong, the obscene prices, the number of people who will never be able to afford to own, the lack of affordable rented homes on terms that mean tenants can settle and actually feel at home rather than as if they're squatting... And "property", yes, part of the sickness that views homes as investment and allows the purchase of homes that will sit empty until they've increased in value sufficiently for the investor to cash in...
Oops that bee seems to have got in my bonnet again...
As for whether we're allowed to be contradictions, I would argue that we'd be far less interesting, and your writing far less entertaining, Tom, if we weren't!
It's exactly the same in Canada, Kate. Insane housing prices, sky-high rents, greedy landlords, all of it. It's so sad.