It was autumn: everything was dying, including me, but the attractive beckoning mists of that season were underway, and I was in a “seize the day” kind of mood so I decided, against the advice of many close acquaintances, to go onto RightMove and rent three leaping deer for £20,000 per calendar month. I embarked on this adventure with my eyes open: the deer were in a quiet and secluded location in an area of outstanding natural beauty, but not one of them was equipped with central heating or fibre optic broadband. After I pointed out these downsides of the deer to the landlord, I was able to negotiate with him and get the rent reduced to just £19,775 per calendar month. I considered this quite the result, especially when I subsequently heard that 48 other potential tenants had been vying alongside me to rent the deer. I am not sure why I was chosen as the anointed one but I did dress up very respectably for the viewing and the landlord seemed impressed when I said I wrote books for a living.
Thanks for such a great read. (I'd even call it "endeering" but that's just because I'm a dad and the puns run high now.)
I love this. I would only note that having lived with deer, it tends to attract more deer. And suddenly secure deer fences aren't secure enough. And it's very much oh deer. But they were soothing in the mist, and also flighty, hiding in the long grass.
Wow! Loved this! One of the best reads in a long time!
I am still wondering what happened to the one that ran off. Going to keep me up at night.
Ha - I love this, Tom! And Happy (belated!) Birthday!!
I seem to recall that Buddha achieved enlightenment in a deer park.
That cheered up my day for me
Very funny. Thanks.